How about putting up that tree. She was so naggy about where each ornament had to go but after everyone was placed our tree really was pretty. She had so many decorations and would go out and buy crafts others made. She loved Angels just like me. She loved Christmas just like me. Oh no I'm like my mom.
My mother was an unusual lady. As much as she loved the holiday she also wanted presents her way. In other words there were few gifts that were 100% what she wanted. My mom was so hard to please. She married a man who could care less about gifts. He would take us kids into the store and pick anything that looked like a woman would want it. It didn't matter if it was what she wanted he'd buy it to get this horrible chore over with. Then on Christmas Day you could count on my mom's disappointment. She was not a woman taken to keeping things to herself when she didn't like the gift. She almost always wanted to take it back but was a champion guilt layer. In other words like a brick layer she would layer the insults oh so veiled with sarcasm til my dad would walk out of the room disgusted. When I grew up very few things scared me about Christmas except for buying a present for my mom. She was so picky and we all only wanted that year to be the year she loved the gift. As she got older she got better at lying but I always knew when she loved it because she would light up like the Christmas Tree she loved so much. When you succeeded in buying what she wanted it was like winning an award. I would carry that happiness around for a long while.
So how did she do with the gifts she gave to others. She was a champ! I always got exactly what I wanted and she was amazing because she would buy us treats. Like a box of fudge or a tin of nuts. It was those little things that I was so excited about. She also always gave us a box of craft supplies. Even though my mother had not a craft bone in her body she wanted to instill in us that you could create something.
So on this holiday when gifts will be almost non existant I'm struck with the memories from my childhood. Amazed that maybe that is the gift. I haven't been able to remember a single Christmas since my mom died well over 12 years ago. Yet, this year when we have so little I find the memories coming back to me in waves. So maybe the lesson this year is to find the gold in your world without money. Maybe just maybe it's more about the people and who we have loved and now miss than about opening a present.
I will always be grateful to my mommy for making every Christmas special for us and always giving me everything I wanted. I miss you mom but I know your right beside me helping me write this. I know you are with me this year more than any other. You always knew what I needed for Christmas. Thanks for giving me back my memories and you mom.
I can just see you in heaven standing beside St. Peter yelling at him to get it right. Ha Ha Ha she was something.
Love to all
Sharon
December 2010
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