Watching Things Change

Yesterday I awoke feeling that same fear I have been waking with for weeks.  You know that fear that comes with problems that you just can't seem to fix.  As the day wore on I started to feel the energy shifting.  You see I've been praying, praying, praying and trying hard as I might to have faith.

Then three things happened....

I got a really nice call unexpected that made me smile.  I got a card in the mail from an old friend that made me feel so loved and cared for.  Last but not least I got some help in the mail that was unexpected & with that came the fact that I have validation of a lifetime of love.  One I've been asking for and never seemed to come. 

Even though I know I have the same problems today that I have had for weeks I feel today that there is not only hope but so much love in this world.  I went to bed in a very different frame of mind last night.  I was grateful.  Grateful that people love me and are thinking of me.  Grateful that all I believe in is real.  I get reminders of that all the time.  Grateful that I can see the shifts of energy and really do believe in the goodness of people.

So if you are down try to feel what you do have and be grateful.  Go to the mirror and smile at yourself.  Say thank you out loud to the universe.  Light a candle then wait and feel the energy in your life shift.  Life is beautiful and bad times pass but the love coming from another human being is priceless.......

Thank You and Much Love

Sharon

Merry Christmas

I Love the words Merry Christmas.  I remember being a little girl and my mother would always give money to the Santa on the corner with the bells.  I would beg her to let me throw the money in because I loved saying Merry Christmas.

I found early on that saying the words Merry Christmas to even the most hostile and angry person could at the very least calm them down and almost always get a big smile.  Complete strangers will always respond with a look of surprise but almost always I'll get the Merry Christmas and smile back.

This year has been very trying and I was pretty sad for the past few weeks.  I went out Christmas shopping yesterday and as Mike and I were driving we went through a toll booth and I could not resist yelling over him Merry Christmas to the man taking the money.  Mike looked over at me surprised and I could see he thought Mom what the heck.  I said did he smile and he said yes and I told him see that's what happens when you say Merry Christmas.  To my surprise it instantly put me into a much happier mood and I got the Christmas spirit.

I tried it out at Toys R Us and again strangers looked startled but everyone of the grouchy people I said it to said it back. 

The spirit of Christmas is not in the giving of gifts but rather in the giving of kindness and a happy energy given to a stranger. 

I know great things are coming for me in 2011 but I will forever remember 2010 as the year I learned that to give the gift of a smile and a kind word is so much more important than buying a gift.  I know that my whole family has learned a valuable lesson this year and I trully hope we all take the love we have for each other and spread it around to those who have none.  My boys are all home this season.  Having Freddy back is such a gift in itself.  I have much to be grateful for.



So from me to you MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Maybe Santa Claus is real in the love one feels when you smile?  I think my mom would agree and be smiling down on me today.

Much Love
Sharon 


MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !  MERRY CHRISTMAS !

Life Lessons

I am a person who has studied new age religions and still I forget all the messages I get when I do readings.  I guess after all we are human's and the lesson's we must learn would not be a lesson if it were easy.

Life lessons can take many lifetimes to master.  I am a person who knows that my lesson, at least the lesson that gives me the most trouble is patience.  Yet I try to rush everything.  My other is staying positive.

I have worked hard to get where I am and yet I still feel like I've gone nowhere.  However, when I look back at the person I was at 25 and the person I am today I know that there has been huge growth.  I know that visualization and staying positive are two things that you need for success with anything you want in this life.  The problem is I'm also a bit OCD, I like things my way and I am a Virgo.  Therefore I tend to see the class 1/2 empty rather than 1/2 full. 

I know I'm the person keeping me from getting what I want and yet can't seem to figure out the most important thing.  How the hell do we control our own innate habits that have been learned and ingrained over years.

I blog as a way to receive messages and the message is practise makes perfect.  So I guess it's back to meditation, being in a quiet frame of mind and visualization.  Oh ha ha I forgot stay positive.

Hopefully something here will make sense to someone struggling with the same things.

Keep in mind visualization takes time it never happens overnight you must stick to it.  FAITH is what it takes.  Blind faith and a belief that you will always get what you want.  Maybe not the way or as fast as you want it but it always comes if you do the work.

Much Love and Peace
Sharon

The Act Of Giving

Giving in it's own self expects nothing in return.  I heard that saying today and it made me think.  I believe it means that in giving you give yourself a wealth of happiness as long as you don't expect anything in return.  

From a small child I have loved to see the face of a person that I've given a gift to.  It's so much fun to see someone get just the right gift.  Why is that fun?  I believe it's because in the small act of giving we put ourselves aside for just a moment in order to give another person happiness.

I've been sitting here all night feeling regretful that I can't give my kids those piles of gifts.  I can't see a huge pile of presents under the tree.  I was grieving for the lose of that giving feeling.  

Then the question came to me "is giving only giving when you have money", or can we give of ourselves.  So I sat and listed what I give.  I'm not going to go thru the list but I was happy to see that I do give as much as I can.  So in this Christmas of need and want I have found myself once more slapping myself silly because instead of being grateful I've been filled with bitterness.  That is the opposite to me of giving.

So for the remainder of the week I'll find a way to bring back the happiness of Christmas starting with baking.  Giving my family the gift of smelling the cookies baking will bring happiness.  I guess when all is said and done maybe the gift of giving is needed by me to me.  Giving myself the clarity that it's not always what we give it's that we give what we can.  If you only have a smile to give then give that.  Be as happy giving that as you would giving the I-Pad.  Give a hand when a child falls,  give advise to someone who needs it and in my nieces case use your abilities to give someone love in doing for them what you've learned.  Sometimes when someone does your hair out of love it means so much more than if they bought you a car.  (Well maybe not ha ha).

Maybe I needed to learn the lesson of gratitude and happiness.  I am a rich woman.  I have 5 men who love me very much.  I have 2 daughter in law's who are every woman's dream.  They are my daughters and at times my friends.  I have 2 grandsons and wonder of wonder I have a little girl who I will be able to hold in just a few short months.  With her will come the spring sunshine and happiness.  Wealth cannot be measured by what you have in the bank but rather by who loves you and who you love back.  On top of all that there are people who have come into my life this year that I'm so grateful for.  

So I will stand on my mountain and say Thank You God for giving to me the clarity of what's important in life.

 

Have a great weekend.

Much Love,

Sharon

My Mom and Christmas

When I was a little girl I used to get so excited about Christmas.  All the gifts under the tree and oh there were so many.  You see Christmas was the holiday that my mother absolutely loved.  If she couldn't have loads of presents under her tree then she simply was not happy.

How about putting up that tree.  She was so naggy about where each ornament had to go but after everyone was placed our tree really was pretty.  She had so many decorations and would go out and buy crafts others made.  She loved Angels just like me.  She loved Christmas just like me.  Oh no I'm like my mom.

My mother was an unusual lady.  As much as she loved the holiday she also wanted presents her way.  In other words there were few gifts that were 100% what she wanted.  My mom was so hard to please.  She married a man who could care less about gifts.  He would take us kids into the store and pick anything that looked like a woman would want it.  It didn't matter if it was what she wanted he'd buy it to get this horrible chore over with.  Then on Christmas Day you could count on my mom's disappointment.  She was not a woman taken to keeping things to herself when she didn't like the gift.  She almost always wanted to take it back but was a champion guilt layer.  In other words like a brick layer she would layer the insults oh so veiled with sarcasm til my dad would walk out of the room disgusted.  When I grew up very few things scared me about Christmas except for buying a present for my mom.  She was so picky and we all only wanted that year to be the year she loved the gift.  As she got older she got better at lying but I always knew when she loved it because she would light up like the Christmas Tree she loved so much.   When you succeeded in buying what she wanted it was like winning an award.  I would carry that happiness around for a long while. 


So how did she do with the gifts she gave to others.  She was a champ!  I always got exactly what I wanted and she was amazing because she would buy us treats.  Like a box of fudge or a tin of nuts.  It was those little things that I was so excited about.  She also always gave us a box of craft supplies.  Even though my mother had not a craft bone in her body she wanted to instill in us that you could create something.

So on this holiday when gifts will be almost non existant I'm struck with the memories from my childhood.  Amazed that maybe that is the gift.  I haven't been able to remember a single Christmas since my mom died well over 12 years ago.  Yet, this year when we have so little I find the memories coming back to me in waves.  So maybe the lesson this year is to find the gold in your world without money.  Maybe just maybe it's more about the people and who we have loved and now miss than about opening a present.

I will always be grateful to my mommy for making every Christmas special for us and always giving me everything I wanted.  I miss you mom but I know your right beside me helping me write this.  I know you are with me this year more than any other.  You always knew what I needed for Christmas.  Thanks for giving me back my memories and you mom. 

I can just see you in heaven standing beside St. Peter yelling at him to get it right.  Ha Ha Ha she was something.

Love to all
Sharon





December 2010

The Closer New Episode

How can a great writing team get better?  With every new episode I always wonder how will they think up new twists to entice me.  Well with the launch of the 2nd half of the 6th season this week they did it again.

Flynn (as played by Anthony Dennison) has always been a favorite for me.  Watching him turn from a almost villian against Brenda in Season 1 to a friend has been quite a ride.  I've noticed over the years that even though he's an important part of the story on almost every episode he never really got too many meaty lines.  He's been the glue holding the twosome Provenza and Flynn together.    So when I tune into The Closer and see one of my favorite character's get attacked it was one of the best fight scenes staged on this series yet.  I was captivated praying that we weren't going to lose Flynn.  Hell what would Provenza do without his buddy?   Talk about sitting on the end of my seat well I was almost on the floor.  Anthony Denison is such a great actor

Then he calls Sharon Raydor which OK I never saw that coming but it put a huge smile on my face.  Brilliant and surprising to the viewer.  Add to that we now see the Captain as not just a harping bitch but a helpful and equally brilliant character with many facets.  I was surprised and excited to see such possibilities for that character.  We love to hate Captain Raydor but this character as played by Mary McDonnell is such a great character I just hope they don't try to spin her off.

So many other parts like Provenza holding the It's a Girl balloon in the hospital are just priceless.

I was happy to see that they didn't focus on the New Police Chief as I'm not thrillled with the choice of actor and didn't want to rehash the last episode.

Many thanks for this gem of a episode.  I have to admit I've watched it three times and enjoyed it each time.  Great work writers you surpassed your previous work.

Can't wait to see my show next week.

Well that's it for now enjoy life and give thanks for the little treasures in life.

Much love.

Sharon
http://the-closer-wiki.tnt.tv/page/Andy+Flynn+Photos

The Closer

http://www.tnt.tv/series/closer/

I remember all those years ago seeing The Closer advertised on TNT.  I had always like Kyra Sedgwick and love love love her hubby Kevin Bacon but I wasn't sure about this new show.  I watched a episode or two and didn't think much of it.

So how do we go from that to completely addicted?  I watch and DVR all of the past episodes and I am excited that tonight the 2nd part of this season is about to start.  I figure I didn't really get to know Brenda and I surely didn't realize what a great cast they have.  This show is a cop show but unlike the others it shows the real flaws and lovable ways of the characters.  They are a unique cast. 

Chief Pope is shown as a old friend and lover of Brenda's who can deliver a funny line with a straight face and yet every time he zings Brenda he makes me smile.    Flynn and Provenza are just two really amusing characters.  They add so much to this show it just wouldn't be the same without them.  I can't wait to see what mischief they will start.  Like finding the dead body in Provenza's garage and going to a baseball game instead of reporting it.  Brenda's boyfriend turned into husband is just plain yummy.  He has taken a supporting role and elevated his position from straight man to someone as important to the script as Brenda. 
Without all of the people on this cast it simply would not be as enjoyable.

I could write pages about this wonderful show.  I look forward to finding out what the new chief of police is going to do and what changes are coming Brenda's way.  So at 8 pm tonight I'll be watching The Closer and will look forward to next week the minute tonight's show is over.

Thanks to the cast of The Closer for adding spice to my day.  Kyra you are so damn good please don't think of ending this show anytime soon.

A extreme fan.

Much love Sharon

Battle Of The Fat

I have been battling the great battle of the bulge for years, more than three decades.  The bulge won and I find a round very round person looking back at me in the mirror.  It's funny because I'm always surprised.  The person I am inside is not the person looking back at me.

I am a woman driven by ego.  So how does someone driven by their ego get like this?  Well they stop caring about themselves.  It's not like you decide I won't like me today.  Over time as a person accepts things they don't want.  Accepting a lifestyle they don't want.  Accept people speaking to you in a bad way it just happens.  Over time it's like a mountain with the water running in a constant drip.  That water starts to create a pathway.   Negativity is just as powerful as positivity. 

Over the years I decided that I was not important and everyone else was.  I don't regret making my kids first because they are my life.  I do however regret letting my body and health go because in the end they are now worried about me.  It's a vicious cycle.

I don't take well to nagging.  One of my boys has been at me for a long time to lose weight.  I was able to justify why I didn't want to exercise when he nagged.  Today was different that boy just opened up all his knowledge of me and gave me no out.  He came at me from a place of love and caring.   That was my undoing.  He became to me what I had always been to him.  In other words he flipped the script.  When he was growing up I never gave him a way out.  Now I find he's learned the lesson's I've taught him. 

All of my son's are bothered by how unwell I am and so I will try.  This time I'm doing it for me.   I want to wake up 30 years from now and be excited about their lives.  I want to be a part of their lives for as long as I can.  I have amazing kids and I want to see in person how well they all do.  I know they will all be successful.  I can see beyond what the world see's into their souls.  I have 4 boys that are all so tough but who inside allow themselves to love me as much as I love them.

I'm very lucky to have people who love me so much and believe in me.  So with a lot of trepidation I will start the journey.

I will blog about it and hope that someone will read it and know that it only takes "one step at a time".  That came from my wise son.

I pray that I can be up to the task.

Much love.

Sharon