I am a mother who knows what it's like to have not one son in the military but two sons. Both of my boys are now in the reserves but I was struck on this Veterans Day of how much I've changed.
In the past I never thought much about the actual soldier and their families until I became a mom of a soldier. I appreciate the sacrifices that they make and know how hard this life is that they chose.
Serving your country is a huge sacrifice and I now know it's not just to the soldier but to the families too. The person that leaves for the military is a young man who wants to have a better life and see's the military as that life. He wants to defend his country and protect his family and friends.
What they don't tell you at the recruiting station is how much time away from your family you will spend. They don't tell the soldier that they will come to believe that working 24 hours on holiday's is normal. The soldier really does stand on that wall for hours with no thank you in rain, snow and dust storms with temps over 100 degrees. He does it for his country.
The mothers are not prepared to be away from their son and daughter for over 1 year at a stretch. Mothers don't get flack jackets we don't get head gear. We go through our day with one eye on the day to day things and the other eye on that son or daughter fighting so far away. No sleep for most mothers in war zones. You're afraid that if you sleep something bad will happen. As if you sitting concentrating on them can keep them alive. The doorbell turns into the enemy. The ring sending shock waves through your body hoping its some kid selling candy at the door and not the military.
The day he comes back to the US is the best day in your life. Over time though you start to notice all the changes. The hardness you never saw before. The ability to push bad things away as if they don't exist but you know it's always there. The inability to smile as readily as your little man used to. The laughter is more forced and the bad dreams much more often.
I'm a realist and know that all this is necessary for our freedoms but sometimes I wish I could take an etch a sketch eraser to him and get the boy back. I love the man and the boy the same but I worry about his future, because he carries so many burdens in his memory.
We need to remember these men and women don't get to just come home and get back into the groove so easily. They have so much conditioning to get through in order to get back into the real civilian world we all take for granted.
The heroes are the Navy personnel in stations like Guam so far from home and yet doing serious dangerous work aboard our ships in the ocean. Watching our waters so that we can feel safe. The heroes are those soldiers who are getting pelted by dust storms, hit by bombs everyday sometimes more often only to sleep a few hours to do it again.
The heroes are the wives and mothers who sit home trying to live up to the soldiers expectations of bravery but yearning to hear that laughter we took for granted. To see that boy run up with excitement over something trivial. That beautiful spirit that we love so much.
The heroes are those soldiers who came back with limbs missing and in pain. Trying to make a life from what is left.
The American Soldier is a wonder to me and I as a citizen thank them all. Thank you to the mothers like me who just want those men and woman to be safe and come back alive.
God Bless The USA Soldiers and Their Families.
I wrote this on Veterans Day but it took me a bit to publish this wasn't an easy one for me.
Much Love
Sharon
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